In NLP teachings people are urged to choose proper words in communication. And to dig for real meaning in others’ statements. Words we and others use don’t reflex the whole structure of its meaning and whatever beyond.
However, we can’t ask everyone we meet to use proper words with us, and we can’t teach them why and how, mostly because the context of meetings doesn’t allow.
Therefore, smart ones should prepare themselves to encounter some words that have negative affects. Positive Reframing is one of many ways to handle such unease. Positive Reframing can give us a capacity to hear whatever anyone says in beneficial tones we like.
Now, You can think of any of those negative single words like; fear, fail, fool, to mention only some. Imagine hearing it from someone and notice how it could change your mood even in a moment, when was the last time you heard such of annoying word?!
As we consider choices here, to overcome such feelings, here some examples, to see how can we change our inner response and hear that word in a soft caring way (this can be applied on more than words, we can do the same with images, sounds, feelings that attached to negative inner responses).
First, list words that bother and hurt you to hear. Then on the other side write the suggested positive meaning (Reframing) for them.
Negative Word
1 – Fear
2 – Fail
3 – Fool
Suggested Positive Reframing (SPR)
1 – you can adjust and be courageous to…
2 – you can adjust and succeed with…
3 – you can adjust and be smart at…
Now, imagine that person using one of such words, and you hear it the way you want because it is your responsibly to react to what others say, you don’t need to bother a lot about why they use such irritating words as soon you can benefit of it and do something better than feeling sad and upset.
You can use self hypnosis and implant a suggestion that “every time I hear such words (or others external/internal events) I know that, in my deep mind, there’s a positive meaning and message they convey to me, to adjust and do something creative and better… every time.. .and new doors that opened with such negative words from others will make me and everyone wonder of how easily I can transfer them to a resourceful helpers…”
You can use anchoring, swish patterns and any other techniques to link such words with your SPRs.
Remember, the map is not the territory, therefore, you have the right to have the (positive) map you want!
Ahmed Hakami, Ph.D, NLP Trainer